My latest findings in life... good? bad? hopeful? what?

Holla! So i've had some stuff happening that's been a real mindfuck lately, and not that it's bad or good... but it just is what it is.
I broke down at work because i was sick and emotional and really wanted to tell someone to just go fuck themself, but couldn't because sometimes you can't just do and say what you want. My dad helped me out and took over painting for me so i could just have a few minutes to just 'be'. A few days before, I got some news that I didn't want or like mind you, and couldn't fully rationalize how i felt about it because i was REALLY sick with the flu and it was Thanksgiving weekend. So I got really upset. fair enough. we all do. And then sometimes we just have to sit back and wait, which doesn't make it any better. Great fun.
Been feeling a little lonely lately, my summer is so busy that my friends stop calling... which sucks especially now, when work is slowing down and i can actually begin to make plans to do things like normal people.
I'm really realizing i'm becoming more and more jaded about the possibility of meeting someone, my love life is in the shitter, and has been for awhile and before that it was good for awhile, but before it ended up being a really BAD decision it was in the shitter and before that I was just fucking stupid. I think its all bollocks and i'm just not good at this whole relationship thing. I have horrible taste in men as i have found. In the last ten years I have had 2 real relationships, one was with a jackass and ended up cheating on me (he was hot, so i guess it was ok to be treated badly-NOT. Was just young and stupid) and the other... well. In a nutshell I thought he was awesome, and that everything was fine until one day he announces he needs space and i'm going home on half a week on the train. Which made things even MORE awesome was after we broke up, he pretty much had a girlfriend right away. I'm not a fucking retard. I knew what was going on. Thanks. My thoughts right around then were "and i was gonna marry you, you asshole". Right now, I have let these things go, and don't let them affect me... until I strung them together into a lovely chain of asshole, because i'm piecing together why shit just doesn't go my way. No wonder I'm a bitter and jaded bitch. HA!
I see friends making babies, creating families, getting married, buying homes/condos, moving in with their significant others... It's great, and I'm really happy for them... but am thinking to myself "what about me?" I don't think I actually want to have children... but maybe that's just right now, maybe not. All I know is that sometimes all this lovey dovey shit makes me wanna puke. Still bitter. still jaded.

One day MY prince will come... hopefully on a fuckin' snowboard ready to rip it up, and not looking for motherfucking barbie.

Random Thoughts...

- it's fall. that means snow is coming
- Thanksgiving. That meal is always awesome
- not working 6 day weeks anymore
- my birthday is around the corner, so let's get drunk.
- if you aren't doing 120kph, GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY!
- on the same note: Left lane is for PASSING. once you've passed the car you want to, MOVE THE FUCK OVER!!

I was writing a blog post while in BC, but then I got busy...

AND then I got home, and got even more busy. Then close to 6 months goes by and you say "WHERE THE FUCK DID IT GO?!?!?!" So here I am, wondering where the fuckin' time went. OH YEAH! I went back to work. That's right.

The rest of my vacation was absolutely fabulous. Whistler blew my mind. I am going back this coming April for Telus fest again, except I think I shall go for the last week and weekend instead of the first. It's up in the air obviously still, but I am watching westjet's seat sales, to say the least. I cannot even tell you how many times I rode through fresh pow in the glacier yelling to myself "I am so fuckin' happy right now!!! I belong here!!" Yes, thats right. ONE more winter in Onterrible. I need to grow my skills some more, work with some amazing people like Keren and Ken, who know how to push me to be my best. I don't know if either of them will read this, but if they do, a big THANK YOU goes out to them, for sure. ALSO Whistler was so amazing I went back for a couple days. My last day on snow was April 28th. Felt great! Took my last run with a man named Jim Ryan, who used to teach at GE back in the 80's. Met him on the Jersey Cream chair. Small world!!

After Whistler, I took a wicked tiny plane (thanks Uncle Steve!) to Tofino to spend a week with Kim Marrie. One of my best friends for LIFE, and had a great week!! I was there for her through kidney stones the first day I was there, experienced a Toonie Tuesday at the Maq, (Maquinna`s pub) got messy, learned to SURF!! which was so awesome, spent time at Tonquin beach, drank A LOT and so on. We took the bus to Nanaimo to visit her brother Joe, his wife Danicka and their daughter Hannah for Easter. It proved to be an amazing weekend, met Danicka's family who were lovely, and had a great time. Tofino, Nanaimo and Courtenay are all great places! On Easter monday, I took the ferry back to the mainland. Sad to see the island go, but I'll go back some day!

Back to VanCity, tried to see a friend who never returned either the text I sent OR the call i made. His loss, but i think his head was wrapped up in work and female matters. Still would have loved to just have coffee. I digress... Spent more time with Uncle Steve, toured Gastown, Chinatown and then realized I still had time and money left- so BACK TO WHISTLER!!! Hopped on the Greyhound and stayed with a friend. Next morning, woke up and went to the mountain. Only Blackcomb was open, and thats ok, because I spent most of my day in the best place on bloody earth- Horstman Glacier. T-bar laps and fresh powder to slash up, not being able to see 5 ft in front of me at times, was bloody fuckin' glorious. Hopped down to glacier creek, had a bite to eat and headed back up. Just an epic day. I have NEVER been on snow on April 28th before, so I was stoked regardless. I headed up for what i thought would be my last runs, and on the jersey cream express, i chatted with an older gentleman. turns out he taught at Glen Eden back in the 80's! Jim Ryan was his name. we parted ways at the top of the lift. I decided to let my heart and supreme logic take me down the hill. I hit a run called cruiser- i was in for cruisin' so it felt like the right run. i came to a point where i had to make my next decision- keep on cruisin or take stoker. i was pretty stoked at the time, so obviously i chose stoker, and i chose so right!! FRESH POW still on the run 1/2 way down the mountain. EPIC! rode it out and went back up on the solar coaster- where i met Jim again. I informed him of the fresh pow i found, so he followed me down. we stopped to chat part way down, rode down to the village and parted ways. Such an amazing day! I left Whistler the next day, and went back to the city to help Uncle Steve, Marlo and Koel move into their new house!! Crazy moving weekend, and then came home... was happy to be home, but sad to leave the mountains and ocean. I'll be back though!

I mentioned I then got busy. Worked hard all summer, August and September were littered with 6 day work weeks... and I can tell you that neither the civic or labour day long weekends were actually long. I got to line the practice court at the ACC for the Raptors this summer, which was awesome, spent some time up north and saw my Nana and Aunt Marianne. I more recently went to Ottawa and saw Nikki for the first time in forever, which was excellent. Now work is slowing down and i'm looking forward to blogging more. so stay tuned!!